Assessment Time – by Ellen

The weeks flew by, in a blur of trees and birds and lions. And before we knew it it was time for the all important – and highly feared – final exam. Everything we’d done up until this point had counted towards the ‘in house’ EcoTraining qualification. Those students not doing FGASA took the rest of us on their assessment drives: 45 minutes where they were the guide and we were the clients. 45 minutes where they had to talk about every topic we’d covered; geology, insects, reptiles, what birds they could hear, what tracks they could see, what trees we were passing. It was an intense time, and on each drive those of us doing FGASA were wondering how on earth we were going to managed to take people on a 3 or 4 hour drive, with an external assessor, and not run out of steam/forget everything we’ve been taught.

We’d heard horror stories about the assessors. How strict they were, and how a student had failed for misidentifying an antelope that he’d never even seen before which bounded across the road faster than the speed of light. And how, anyway, the FGASA written exam was so tough that we might not even get as far as the practical test. Then Albie arrived, with his easy going nature and his big grin, wicked sense of humour and a genuine love for the wild. He did, however, tell us that, on no uncertain terms we would fail if we did not pack the coffee and scones for the morning drives and beers for evening sundowners.

The assessments turned out to be more fun - and less nerve racking - than some of our practice drives had been! The time went a lot quicker than anticipated (mine was helped by the fact that I was sharing my assessment time with another girl, so I took my clients on ‘Ellen’s Speedycramalltheinformationinreallyfast Safari’ and there was so much more I could have bored my guests with. I was delighted that we came across some courting giraffes; having just done a presentation on these fascinating creatures it was fantastic to watch their courtship behaviour and luckily it meant I knew what they were doing! The male saunters up behind the female, and hits her on bottom with his front leg (now there’s romance). This stimulates her pass urine, which he tastes to assess from her pheromones whether or not she’s ready to mate. So guys, I don’t think that flowers and chocolates is too much of a hardship, hey?

Evan’s assessment drive was great. I don’t think that having me as navigator did much to ease his nerves: having your wife next to you wielding a map doesn’t do much for blood pressure at the best of times. Especially as I constantly confuse my left and right. Anyway, once his nerves had settled he became his usual entertaining self. And he happily parked up in the shade and launched himself into his favourite topic: the Macro Termese Termite. Seriously, these little guys are amazing. They build their mounds (termitaria) by vomiting up old food to be used as cement. The queen lives up to 20 years and lays the exact number of eggs required to produce the correct number of termites needed by the colony. The food their fed when they’re maturing determines whether they become a worker, a soldier, a secondary reproducer or a king or queen. They have underground fungal gardens. It goes on. Ask Evan about them next time you see him.

At the end of each assessment the ‘guests’ head back to camp and you’re given your feedback, and your all-important result. For Evan this was not a happy time. “Evan,” said Albie. “That was really good and I’d be more than happy to recommend you for work on any game lodge. Sadly, however, I’m not allowed to pass you as the FGASA rules state that you cannot have your wife as navigator during your assessment”. Evan’s heart sank: “Ok, of course, I understand Albie, thank you anyway.”

Albie laughed. Hysterically.