Getting Stuck in the Mud in Etosha – by Evan

Hurtling along the road through the mighty Etosha Game Park, we said a nonchalant Pah! To the ‘Road Closed’ sign – that doesn’t bother us! This road is fine, Look! Watch us hurtle along! We are unstoppable! We can take this bakkie anywhere! We are like the wi… ‘Oh Dear’ we said, as we came firmly to a halt in deep, thick, sticky mud on the closed road that we shouldn’t have been driving down. The closed road that, as it was closed and we were many, many miles from camp, no one would come down to rescue us on.

Still, no bother: we can push ourselves out – the car is pretty light after all. After 15 minutes of pushing and getting (very) muddy, with Ellen at the wheel – we were very much deeper in the mud than we had first been, which wasn’t quite my plan. We had a little break, and a look under the car – which only made us slightly more panicky, as the mud was now up to the engine. Hmm. At this point it hit us that we were in a game park, and there lots of lions in the vicinity, and were Under No Circumstances to get out of the car. Hmm. Not a problem! We can phone the rangers then – embarrassing, admittedly, but we can claim we missed the road closed sign, and they can pull us out – then we can go back to camp, stick the braai on, and have a beer.

Easy.

Except that there wasn’t any reception.

Hmm.

I hopped out of the car and PUSHED and pushed and really pushed. And pushed some more. An hour later, in sweltering heat, getting ever more concerned about the lions now, and we were Very Stuck Indeed. And a little worried, admittedly…hmm…

Then we had a brain wave! Use the lids from the food containers! Put them under the wheels! Brilliant! And you know what? It s*****g worked – we finally, after only a few attempts, managed to move the car several inches, then several inches more, then a whole BLOODY FOOT I TELL YOU, and then, miraculously, we were on a hard bit of the road again. We couldn’t even see out of the front windscreen there was so much mud and I couldn’t feel my shoulder anymore, but after giving E a big kiss we headed back to camp and a hose down! Phew. Not doing that again.