If in doubt, go on safari – by Ellen

On the Monday, we managed to get through to Emirates, who told us the earliest flight was over 2 weeks away. So, what to do in South Africa for two weeks with no money? Hmm.

On the plus side, Toto was ready to be collected. Thankfully, the bill wasn’t anywhere near as scary as we’d convinced ourselves it would be. The problem, it turned out, was that Toto didn’t have any brushes. Or needed new brushes. Or something. Apparently cars need very special brushes, not hair brushes, tooth brushes or dust pan and brush brushes, all of which we had.

Anyway, that drama over, we decided to try and sell the car before something more expensive broke. Surprisingly enough, we found out that we weren’t going to get as much for it as we’d hoped (!). Two new tyres, work on the exhaust and the scary number of kilometres it had been driven were all noted after a cursory inspection by the dealers. I dread to think what screws and nuts and bolts had been loosened by rattling along for thousands of kilometres on gravel roads, and then there was the small matter of all the Etoshan mud in the engine...
We decided, after much deliberation and a couple of bottles of wine, that if ever in doubt, go on safari. Our other options were to sell Toto before the wheels dropped off, hire a car and go and spend 10 days on the beach in Mozambique, or drive down to Cape Town and sell the car there, where we’d possibly get more money for it. The former seemed too expensive, and the latter too sensible. The other bonus of going on safari was that we’d not be in Polokwane for Freedom Day. We’d been seeing news reports that there was text message going round suggesting that blacks should kill as many whites as possible on Freedom Day. Nice.

So, safari it was.

Once again, Evan’s African accent (which rivals Leonardo Di Caprio’s in Blood Diamond, and certainly beats Matt Damon’s in Invictus) paid off. We were given local rates for Kruger – which works out at about £4 per person/day rather than £16 per person/day. Not bad!

It was great to be back in the bush again, and, once we’d opened the second roll of Duck Tape to hold the poles together, we even managed to get the tent to stay up. A gang of hornbills invited themselves to lunch. Disgruntled at being shooed off, they started attacking the windscreen wipers with their enormous beaks and pooing on the bonnet. Evan - the great bird lover – retaliated by turning the windscreen wipers on. Ha ha ha!

Kruger is very different to Hwange. The roads are tarred and pothole free, there are at least 20 cars queuing at each major sighting and accommodation gets booked out even during the week. It all felt a little...zoo-like. But nonetheless, it was great to be back, and we saw some great stuff including lions...erm...making baby lions, and even got close enough to a cheetah that we could hear it’s claws clicking on the tarmac as it walked past my window. It’s going to be odd being back in Sussex, where there’s a distinct lack of wild elephants roaming along the side of the A27.